October marks Domestic Abuse Awareness Month to highlight the signs of domestic abuse and educate victims on how to seek support.
According to statistics, one woman is killed every four days in England and Wales by her current or ex-partner. Meanwhile, police received a call for help relating to domestic abuse every 30 seconds. This needs to change.
Domestic abuse is defined by the law as:
‘Behaviour by a person over 16 towards another person aged over 16 and personally connected and can be physical or sexual abuse, violent or threatening behaviour, controlling or coercive behaviour, economic abuse, psychological, emotional or other abuse. It does not matter if the behaviour is a single incident or a course of conduct.’
Domestic abuse is often hidden behind closed doors, and we know how hard it can be for victims to reach out. We understand the concerns they may face, such as what will happen to their children, where they will live, and the financial concerns they may experience if they leave their abuser. But, support is out there, and it is vital for victims to seek help.
Charities, such as Women’s Aid and Refuge are on hand to guide and support victims of domestic abuse to seek a better life. Meanwhile, there are also organisations, such as ManKind Initiative out there to help men who may also be suffering.
No matter your age, gender, or occupation, anyone can be a victim of domestic abuse, through no fault of their own.
Below, we list some signs of domestic abuse, and how to support someone who may be a victim.
Support a friend if they’re being abused
If you’re worried a friend is being abused, let them know you’ve noticed something is wrong. They might not be ready to talk but try to find quiet times when they can speak if they choose to.
If someone confides in you that they’re suffering domestic abuse:
- Listen, and take care not to blame them
- Acknowledge it takes strength to talk to someone about experiencing abuse
- Give them time to talk, but don’t push them to speak if they don’t want to
- Acknowledge they’re in a frightening and difficult situation
- Tell them nobody deserves to be threatened or beaten, despite what the abuser has said
- Support them as a friend – encourage them to express their feelings, and allow them to make their own decisions
- Don’t tell them to leave the relationship if they’re not ready – that’s their decision
- Ask if they have suffered physical harm – if so, offer to go with them to a hospital or GP
- Help them report the assault to the police if they choose to
- Be ready to provide information on organisations LINK that offer help for people experiencing domestic abuse
If you are worried that a friend, neighbour or loved one is a victim of domestic abuse then you can call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free and confidential advice, 24 hours a day on 0808 2000 247.
If you believe there is an immediate risk of harm to someone, or it is an emergency, you should always call 999.
Signs of domestic abuse
Emotional abuse
Does your partner, or former partner, ever:
- Belittle you, or put you down?
- Blame you for the abuse or arguments?
- Deny that abuse is happening, or play it down?
- Isolate you from your family and friends?
- Stop you going to college or work?
- Make unreasonable demands for your attention?
- Accuse you of flirting or having affairs?
- Tell you what to wear, who to see, where to go, and what to think?
- Control your money, or not give you enough to buy food or other essential things?
Threats and intimidation
Does your partner, or former partner, ever:
- threaten to hurt or kill you?
- destroy things that belong to you?
- stand over you, invade your personal space?
- threaten to kill themselves or the children?
- read your emails, texts or letters?
- Harass or follow you?
Physical abuse
The person abusing you may hurt you in a number of ways.
Does your partner, or former partner, ever:
- slap, hit or punch you?
- push or shove you?
- bite or kick you?
- burn you?
- Choke you or hold you down?
- Throw things?
Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, whether they’re male or female.
Does your partner, or former partner, ever:
- Touch you in a way you don’t want to be touched?
- Make unwanted sexual demands?
- Hurt you during sex?
- Pressure you to have unsafe sex – for example, not using a condom?
- Pressure you to have sex?
If your partner, or former partner, has sex with you when you don’t want to, this is rape.
Have you ever felt afraid of your partner or former partner?
Have you ever changed your behaviour because you’re afraid of what your partner, or former partner, might do?
Domestic abuse charities
If you believe you are suffering from abuse, please contact one of the following to ensure you seek support asap. If you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.
How to report domestic abuse
West Yorkshire Police takes reports of domestic abuse very seriously.
If an incident of domestic abuse is ongoing, you should report it over the phone by dialling 999 immediately. If possible go to a place of safety, for example a room with a lock on the door.
You can contact the Police 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by calling:
- 999 for emergencies – If a crime is in progress or there is a danger to life
- 101 – For non-emergencies
If you are not able to make a phone call, there is the alterative option of filling out simple online form (click here) to allow you to report domestic abuse. The form will take approximately five to seven minutes to complete.
The information you give on the form will be dealt with in the same way as any other report of domestic abuse.
Police will only contact you when you say it is safe to do so and we will use the most appropriate method of communication, unless there is an urgent need to protect you from harm.
If you are worried that someone you know is suffering domestic abuse, you should phone 101 or 999 in an emergency to report this – rather than online.
Further reading
Sexual abuse/domestic abuse claims – Oakwood Solicitors
WHAT TO DO NEXT
Get in touch today for a no-obligation consultation. Choose one of the methods on the right-hand side of this page, or call us on 0113 200 9720 to find out how we can help you.
Molly Frost joined the Firm in June 2024 and specializes in abuse compensation claims. Having over 20 years’ experience helping survivors recover compensation, she is considered an expert in her fie…
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