Male domestic abuse survivors ‘ignored’

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Men who have survived domestic abuse have said they feel “ignored” by the government because crimes against them are being classified as “violence against women and girls”.

For more than a decade, governments have grouped male victims of domestic abuse, rape, stalking and so-called honour-based violence into the same category as female victims, and now charities are calling for change.

Male domestic abuse survivors

“Male victims can often feel ignored, negated because we’re not even listed and I just think there’s something about how important it is to be recognised, to be seen,” explained Duncan Craig OBE, founder of We Are Survivors.

“We know from the women and girls’ strategy how much difference it makes when somebody is seen. I and my fellow male survivors, we want to be seen.”

Research carried out by the University of Central Lancashire found that 88% of male survivors believed the government does not care about them, 89% said the policy made it harder for them to get help and 90% were made to feel invisible.

In a statement, a government spokesperson said:

“The term ‘violence against women and girls’ refers to acts of violence or abuse that we know disproportionately affect women and girls. Crimes and behaviour covered by this term include rape and other sexual offences, domestic abuse and stalking.

“Men and boys can obviously be victims of those crimes as well, and many of the measures we have introduced apply equally to them too, including the launch of new Domestic Abuse Protection Orders, the strengthening of anti-stalking powers and plans to embed domestic abuse specialists in 999 control rooms.”

Rob Parkes, 45, from Milton Keynes, spent years in an abusive marriage with Victoria Breeden who was eventually convicted of three counts of soliciting his murder.

Speaking about the abuse he experienced, he said:

“She controlled a lot of my life, she changed my personality to such an extent where I was totally isolated from my friends, my family.”

“After we separated and I managed to get custody of my daughter, things took a turn and over the following 10 years I came to understand that she had tried to arrange for my murder with various men who she had been involved with. She was eventually sentenced and served time in prison for that.”

The author, who has written a book about his ordeal, said that under the current system, his case would be classed as violence against women.

“The cultural bias is the assumption that men have to be perpetrators because there’s no classification of a male victim – it’s a footnote,” he added.

At Oakwood Solicitors Ltd we support all survivors of domestic abuse, no matter what your gender, sexuality, age or nationality is.

What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse is defined as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and violent behaviour, including sexual violence, in the majority of cases by a partner or ex-partner, but also by a family member or carer.

What counts as domestic abuse

Domestic abuse can include, but is not limited to, the following:

Coercive control (a pattern of intimidation, degradation, isolation and control with the use or threat of physical or sexual violence)
Psychological and/or emotional abuse
Physical or sexual abuse
Financial or economic abuse
Harassment and stalking
Online or digital abuse

Signs of domestic abuse

Anyone can be a victim of domestic abuse, regardless of gender, age, ethnicity, religion, socio-economic status, sexuality or background.

If you believe that you are a victim of domestic abuse, there are signs that you can look out for including:

Being withdrawn, or being isolated from your family and friends
Having bruises, burns or bite marks on you
Having your finances controlled, or not being given enough to buy food, medication or pay bills
Not being allowed to leave your house, or stopped from going to college or work
Having your internet or social media use monitored, or someone else reading your texts, emails or letters
Being repeatedly belittled, put down or told you are worthless
Being pressured into sex or sexual contact
Being told that abuse is your fault, or that you’re overreacting

How to report domestic abuse?

If you’re a victim of domestic abuse, or know someone who is, and there’s an emergency that’s ongoing or life is in danger, call 999 now.

If you have a hearing or speech impairment, use the police textphone service 18000 or text 999 if you’ve pre-registered with the emergencySMS service.

Other ways to report:

On the police website
By calling 101 (If you have a hearing or speech impairment, use our textphone service on 18001 101)
In the safety of your local police station (if you require a translator, we can provide someone initially by phone and later in person)

If you’re worried about someone seeing your web history, find out how to hide this visit.

Domestic abuse and making a claim

If you have experienced domestic abuse, you may be entitled to compensation for the suffering you have endured. At AbuseClaims.co.uk, we specialise in handling claims of this nature and are here to provide guidance and support throughout the legal process.

Our team works on a ‘no-win, no-fee’ basis for criminal injury claims. If your claim is unsuccessful, you won’t pay anything. Should your claim be successful, we take 25% (plus VAT) of the compensation awarded. We only receive payment upon the successful conclusion of your case.

You’ll be assigned a dedicated criminal injury adviser who will support you from start to finish, addressing any questions or concerns along the way. If preferred, we can assign a female adviser to handle your case.

Domestic abuse support groups

Below we have listed some support groups that may be able help if you have experiencing domestic abuse.

Leeds Domestic Violence Service (LDVS):

Phone: 0113 246 0401
Website: ldvs.uk
Services: Confidential support, emergency accommodation, and advocacy for individuals affected by domestic violence in Leeds.

Women’s Aid:

Phone: 0808 2000 247 (24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline)
Website: womensaid.org.uk
Services: National charity providing support, information, and a directory of local services for women and children experiencing domestic abuse.

Men’s Advice Line:

Phone: 0808 801 0327
Website: mensadviceline.org.uk
Services: Confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse, offering emotional support and practical advice.

Galop (LGBT+ Anti-Abuse Charity):

Phone: 0800 999 5428
Website: galop.org.uk
Services: Support for LGBT+ individuals experiencing domestic abuse, including a helpline and advocacy services.

National Domestic Abuse Helpline:

Phone: 0808 2000 247 (24-hour helpline)
Website: nationaldahelpline.org.uk
Services: Free and confidential support for anyone experiencing domestic abuse, with access to refuge accommodation and safety planning.

Male domestic abuse survivors ‘ignored’ as crimes are classed as ‘violence against women’