Autism Acceptance Week

Autism Acceptance Week starts on the 28th of March, with World Acceptance Day following on the 2nd of April.

I have highlighted the word ‘acceptance’, as this can be the most difficult thing for someone who has autism – to feel accepted.

If you are anything like me, you will walk into a room and see a room full of people as a room full of opportunities – for giggles, chatter or exchanging ideas.  A room full of people I know will give me a warm feeling inside, a room full of strangers feels like an exciting challenge.

However, for my 13 year old son a room full of people (whether family and friends or people he doesn’t know) is something he finds utterly confusing and overwhelming and is something to be endured, rather than enjoyed.

The world is definitely more accepting than when I was younger (I am the ripe old age of 45!) and there are more opportunities for people with SEN challenges to interact in more comfortable surroundings.

Supermarkets even have ‘quiet hours’ where autistic individuals can shop without loud music and images flashing at them from every angle.  Trampoline parks have special SEN sessions and coffee shops sometimes cater exclusively for those who find busy and noisy environments challenging.

Sadly, though, we are a long way off a society where everyone can feel comfortable and accepted, all of the time. There are definitely people who ‘get it’, however, who are not offended if my son doesn’t want to do the round of hugs at the end of a family meal, or who don’t object when he ‘ignores’ them.

My son rarely ignores people, but he likens the situation to an old fashioned telephone switchboard – if he is plugged into one socket (utterly absorbed reading his book, for example), how can he suddenly change socket and talk to someone.

For me it would simply be a case of calmly putting the book down and engaging in the conversation immediately.  For him it is a complex business of ‘setting his train on the right track’ and preparing for the complex interaction that is a conversation.  Sometimes, for him, that is just too hard.

As an interconnecting, social species, with many subtleties of communication that have developed over a very, very long time, the slightest raised eyebrow or wry smile can mean a million different things.

As an example of how confusing it is my son asked me the other day why, if Alex (not his real name!) was sad – he couldn’t just look sad or tell him he was sad – how did he know that the expression on Alex’s face (in this instance I would describe his face as showing ‘consternation’) meant he was sad?

As my son didn’t realise his behaviour was making Alex sad, he carried on with what he was doing and compounded the situation further.  I believe he was lining up Alex’s Pokémon cards in a certain order, thinking Alex would be thrilled – but sadly Alex was less than thrilled!

If we can all take a moment, every day to stop and wonder whether a person’s ‘rude’ behaviour is simply due to them being overwhelmed, absorbed or distracted, rather than ignorant, disinterested or belligerent – think how much more accepting the world would be?

If we can accept that someone might not understand the subtleties of communication or expression, we open up the possibility that they will keep trying to interact in the world.  A world where a big percentage of the population hide away and don’t try because they keep ‘failing’, is a sad one.

Believe me, my son would love a group of friends with similar interests all enjoying each other’s company, but because he thinks he gets friendship ‘wrong’ he doesn’t always try. He’ll tell me he doesn’t care, but I know he does.

I know, if people would just take the time to just sit, listen and enjoy the company of others and embrace both our similarities and differences, the world would be a kinder, happier place.

So for Autism Acceptance Week, please try accepting others’ differences a little more and the world can open up in a whole new way.

Further reading

World Autism Acceptance week – National Autistic Society